A Millennial Journey in Faith: Embracing prudence and the necessity of speaking up

         
Recently, I read a variety of responses to the question, “For those who used to be pro-choice and are now pro-life, what made you change your mind?”
 
Many answers were what I expected. From, “I saw my own baby at the eight-week ultrasound and she already looked like a baby,” and “My son was born at 23 weeks,” to “My friend had an abortion in high school, and even though everyone around her told it was a good choice, she sank into a deep depression,” many people changed their minds due to their experiences, both good and bad.
 
Yet, not a small number answered differently. For them, it was something a friend or opponent on the issue said that first made them reconsider their position. Some were asked when human beings should gain the rights of persons, if not at birth; another was asked by a pro-life adversary if she had ever read what the first feminists said about abortion; others were simply exposed to more biology.
 
The political and social discourse in our culture often consists of throwing words at each other, insults that devalue the opponent coupled with examples that “prove” their world view. Amidst the breakdown of civil discourse, it’s tempting to fall back on the words attributed Saint Francis’s words, “Preach the Gospel. If necessary, use words,” and say, “The way that we live is enough. I don’t have to say anything. I don’t have to use words.”
 
While saying less is often a part of the solution to the current state of social discourse, if we all said nothing, many of those formerly pro-choice people would still be pro-choice. For many of these people, the words served as a catalyst for their conversion toward seeing the dignity of the human person. The full Gospel would not be preached without words. The questions arise: When is it necessary to use words? When the situation calls for it, what words do we use?
 
Developing the virtue of prudence aids me in discerning when and how to preach the Gospel with words. Prudence, which Saint Thomas Aquinas calls the “mother” of the cardinal virtues, requires knowledge of “universal principles of reason” and “singulars which ethical action is concerned,” according to Aquinas scholar Josef Pieper in his book, “The Four Cardinal Virtues.” In other words, prudence means that we have knowledge of reality as well as of moral norms. Knowledge of reality necessitates that we must have a thorough and real understanding of the situation from our relationship to the other person, the context of the discourse, and even our own disposition and personality.
 
For example, my natural disposition is toward saying too much, to trying to convince and convert through reason alone. At times, in attempts to temper my natural inclination, I have said nothing. Saying nothing is, at times, appropriate, such as in response to someone’s posting on social media. Other times, in private conversation, it is necessary to speak up, to question a common assertion that is contrary to the Gospel and Christian way of life.
 
The necessity of speaking up is especially true when people ask. They’ve looked at your life, they see that you live differently, and they want to know more. We should give a response. Often, when people ask me, their question is not asked in the “right” way. The questions are clumsy and, at times, verging on rude. They want to know more about the faith, but they ask, “What age do children receive the Sacraments?” They long for another child, they want to be more open to the life given to their marital love, but they have a hard time imagining breaking the cultural script. They ask, “Is this your last baby?” because they don’t know how to ask differently.
 
Depending on the situation, preaching the Gospel with words may mean very few words, or it may mean more. It may include an invitation to “come and see.” Let’s preach the Gospel, even when words are necessary.