The enduring value of fatherhood

Hall of Fame quarterback Archie Manning knows the value of fatherhood. The father of three sons – two of whom were NFL quarterbacks – understands the value of fatherhood because of what happened to his own father, Buddy.

One summer while a student at the University of Mississippi, the star quarterback came home and found his father, Buddy, dead in his parents’ bedroom. He had committed suicide.

Devastated by this experience, Archie almost quit football. If he had walked away, he wouldn’t have been player of the year, wouldn’t have had a 10-year professional football career, and probably wouldn’t have had two sons, Peyton and Eli, become successful NFL quarterbacks.

Even more important to Archie Manning, he needed to use his experience to help him understand that fatherhood meant giving what his own father was unable to give: a foundation for meaningful and purpose-driven living.

On Sunday, June 18, we celebrate Father’s Day in appreciation of the value of fatherhood. The holiday was first celebrated in the United States at the beginning of the 20th century but wasn’t declared a national holiday until 1972. 

Now, more than ever, we need to celebrate these courageous men who step up to give purpose and meaning to their children’s lives. We have a duty to celebrate our own fathers who have shaped, loved and formed us.

Archie Manning witnesses to a deep human crisis in our time, namely, a lack of fatherhood. In recent generations, the scarcity of men willing to be true fathers for their families has threatened the very foundations of our society. Over the past half century, the number of children living only with their mother has nearly tripled – 1 in 4 children (18.4 million) live without a biological, step or adoptive father in the home.

Why is fatherhood so important? Fathers share in the mission of God the Father as Creator. Through a father’s love for his wife, he bears a child who is his, just as the Father created the human person out of nothing in his own image and likeness. And by embracing the responsibilities of fatherhood, fathers become an instrument of God’s love and mercy in the lives of their children. Fathers have the authority and duty to educate and form their children in essential human qualities and virtues first and foremost by their example.

Archie learned the value of fatherhood from the lack of a father at a critical time in his life. For his three sons, he made sure he gave them his love and attention so that they knew what was ultimately important. Archie made his relationship with his family a top priority in his life and, in doing so, he worked to conform his fatherhood to that of God the Father.

My own father gave my siblings and me a wonderful experience of love and support. I remember once when I was very young, my dad took my brother and me to work with him. A co-worker looked at us and asked my father, “John, which of these two boys is the adopted one?” My dad looked at each of us and responded promptly, saying, “You know, I really don’t remember.” We were both his sons, and we knew that he loved and cared deeply for us.

Fathers, I would like to encourage you to reflect specifically on how you labor for your children. Perhaps you are thinking, “I work hard day and night to make enough money to keep a roof over my family’s head and dinner on the table.” 

While that is certainly important, you also labor to share faith with them and form good habits and a virtuous character, to challenge your children to grow, and to show them that you love them. You labor to protect them from harm and the evils of sin. Sometimes you labor to show them God’s mercy, correcting their faults or teaching them something new. In all this you are called to labor in charity: not complaining, not fighting, but with humility and the attitude of a servant. That is how we love our children, by imitating our Father in heaven and his Son who reveals his love to us.

Fatherhood is a difficult calling. Maybe you are like Archie Manning, longing for the love a father never showed. Remember we all have one Father in heaven. We all need to strive to forgive our earthly fathers for their weaknesses and failures. We can learn to see in them God the Father and strive to live out his perfect fatherhood in our families.

We give thanks to God the Father for his example and the gift of our earthly fathers and our spiritual fathers. May all men who have been called to share in the vocation of fatherhood be blessed by their witness to the love of God, the Father, who is the source of all fatherhood.