A Millennial Journey in Faith: The habits of turning to God

A few weeks ago, I read a novel with an interesting premise: a woman wakes up from a head injury thinking she is 29 years old, completely in love with her husband, and pregnant with their first child. She is shy, preferring the close friendships she developed early in life: with her sister and her close friend from elementary school. But soon, she discovers that it is 10 years later. She is on the cusp of turning 40, with three children. The biggest surprise: she and her adored husband are in the midst of a messy divorce.
 
The remainder of the novel explores how the couple, Alice and Nick, slowly went from being wildly in love to treating each other with the utmost contempt. Alice thinks it must have been infidelity. Their love, she thinks, only could be destroyed by something huge. As her memories come back, however, she slowly realizes it was a series of small choices to treat each other with disrespect, prizing career, organization and another friendship over their marriage. These choices became habits, and the habits created an increasing contempt for one another.
 
In “What Alice Forgot,” the author conveys not only how most marriages crumble or build, but also how virtue is developed: through our small, everyday actions. According to Blessed John Henry Newman, doing well in our daily actions well is the path to perfection and sanctity. His list includes such simple items as eating and drinking to God’s glory and waking up and going to bed at the appropriate times. He also incorporates turning one’s first thoughts to God, praying throughout the day, keeping out bad thoughts, and ending the day with a good examination of conscience.
 
For this man who achieved a great degree of sanctity, it was done in living the small moments of his everyday life well. He began his day turning toward God, he made a daily visit to the Blessed Sacrament, he said the Angelus and Rosary devoutly, and he ended his day with a thorough examination of conscience. He spent his day turning toward God, and he finished his day by making an honest observation of his actions.
 
How much could we improve if we implemented these simple actions! The Alice and Nick of the novel would have developed both a closer relationship with God as well as a closer relationship to each other. A thorough and honest assessment of their daily actions would have brought attention to the small ways they begin to show disrespect and disdain for each other, allowing them to be aware of and correct their bad habits before they grew to dominate the relationship. They could begin to turn toward each other with respect and love instead of turning away.
 
All of our moments are chances to turn toward what we love or to turn away. We can turn to God, in our words and in our deeds, or we can turn away. The habits of turning to God lead to holiness.