Deeper spirituality through direction

Spiritual direction has been a part of Christianity from its earliest days. In the Acts of the Apostles, Timothy seeks Paul’s guidance as he matures in his faith, and Saint Philip offered guidance to the Ethiopians. Catholics throughout the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City are blessed to have more than 50 extensively-trained spiritual directors.
 
Spiritual direction helps people advance in a more personal journey to a richer faith life by recognizing how the Holy Spirit is working in their lives. The goal is a deeper relationship with God through prayer while providing another person to share that faith journey.
 
“There are many definitions for spiritual direction, but my favorite is ‘one who is a listening presence,’” said Mary Diane Steltenkamp, coordinator of the spiritual director formation program.
 
“Spiritual direction is a unique charism within our Church that calls one to provide a listening presence to another with the goal of trying to find God in the midst of life. Someone who listens well to the story, ‘the scripture of life,’ I like to say, and help by walking with them to see where God is in their life and how God could be calling them.”
 
Spiritual director training in the archdiocese began in the mid-1980s. In 1984, the Sisters of Benedict offered Retreat in Daily Life for the first time. There were only two Benedictine Sisters who were spiritual directors and the retreat was such a success, they realized more spiritual directors would be needed. Steltenkamp, who attended the very first program, became a spiritual director and continues today.
 
In the beginning, the program lasted two years after the retreat, but has expanded to five years. The first step is Retreat in Daily Life, which runs 30 weeks from October to May. RIDL is offered for those wishing to pursue a ministry in spiritual direction as well as those simply seeking to deepen their faith. The group meets weekly in a small gathering and then individuals spend one-on-one time with the spiritual director twice a month.
 
To become a spiritual director, the Retreat in Daily Life or a 30-day retreat is the first step. The second year is introduction to spiritual direction, which entails learning listening skills, tools for self-awareness, and exposure to different ways of prayer.
 
The third year is studying the classics or mystics of our church such as Saint Francis and Saint John of the Cross. This year showcases varied saints and how they add to the wealth of different spiritualties.
 
The fourth year is focused on Ignatian spirituality. Those in this year accompany one participating in the Retreat in Daily Life. The fifth year offers extra attention on discernment, direction on the margins, and how to do retreats. Currently, there are 13 persons in the fourth year and 23 in the fifth year, the latter being the largest group the program has ever had.
 
“This is the legacy of the Sister of Benedict, and though they are no longer with us, the ministry they brought to Oklahoma is alive and well due to their efforts. We owe an incredible debt to the sisters for bringing this program and empowering the laity,” she said.
 
Steltenkamp said, “One of the best practices a director can offer is what Ignatius calls the Examen – inviting a director to reflect over the previous day and ask what the best part was, when did I feel the most loved, the most connected, the most energized, the moment that was the most life-giving and thank God for it. Then, what was the most challenging, where I felt distant or drained, not quite my best self and ask God for forgiveness. And then close with a prayer that tomorrow with God's help I will try to do better,” she said.
 
“We don’t give advice. Directors will listen to what is going on inside those they are directing and together discover what God might be asking. Saint Ignatius said the fruits of going through these exercises is spiritual freedom – freedom for us to be who we are called to be.”
 
Judy Hilovsky is a freelance writer for the Sooner Catholic.