Real Life Disciples: Prayer and virtue

Have you ever had one of those experiences where you volunteered for something at your parish and, in the end, you were way more blessed by the experience than it was blessed by you? That’s kind of how my wife and I feel after leading a group of teenagers at our parish in a discipleship group over the past couple years. 

We called the group “Deep Dive” and it’s just that – a deep dive into relationships, into the Scriptures and into what it means to be a disciple. We had our closing session the other night and, wow, how these teens have changed!

Our Deep Dive group has been reading and studying Father Jacques Philippe’s book, “Time for God.” As we have gone through the study, I’ve also been sharing a series of columns in the Sooner Catholic on prayer. One unique thing we did with our Deep Dive group was to add a dual topic – in between chapter discussions about “Time for God” we were talking about the four cardinal virtues.

You might ask what’s the connection? Why focus on human virtue and prayer at the same time? Well, that was exactly the topic of our discussion the other night at our last gathering. 

And, what an amazing conversation it was! I was leading the discussion Socratic-style; I wouldn’t allow myself to just tell them what the connection was, I wanted them to come to it on their own. It was amazing to watch these teens wrestle with the question and struggle with why prayer is so important in the pursuit of virtue, and to access all they had learned and experienced over the past several months. I’d like to share with you some of their conclusions.

From earlier discussions about the virtues, one of the teens remembered that Aristotle said that the highest human good is to live life well, and by “well” he meant virtuously. Everything we discussed about the four cardinal virtues comes to play here. 

Aristotle’s framework of the virtues helps give definition to what living well looks like. And, the cardinal (cardinal meaning “hinge”) virtues – prudence, justice, fortitude and temperance – are the foundation for all the other virtues.

In our discussion, one of the teens remembered a C.S. Lewis quote from another study sometime last year. Lewis was asking the question, “Do you need to be a Christian to be a good person?” He came to the same conclusion that all the teens did the other night – not really. The average human being can practice the cardinal virtues and other related virtues, and actually can grow in their capacity for goodness; they can live life well and “be a good person.”

But, Lewis would go on to ask if that is really what God is offering us? He clarifies that God isn’t inviting us to be good people or to be “nice.” He wants to transform us into the same “stuff” that he’s made of – divine nature. And, that is something we could never hope to accomplish on our own without his help, no matter how “good” we are.

This is the crux of the whole conversation; the pursuit of human virtue only can get us so far. It’s important that we pursue it, don’t get me wrong. The work of grace and the spiritual life all depend upon our cooperation. And, we are meant to not only pursue virtue as with wishful thinking. We are meant to engage in self-discipline, self-mastery and even, at times, self-deprivation to actually grow in virtue. But, at a certain point the most important thing that God wants to do is something that only he can do. He wants to make us partakers in divine nature the catechism says (CCC, 460). Saint Athanasius articulates it like this, “The Son of God became man so that we might become God” (CCC, 460).

Finally, one of the teens asked, “Does it have anything to do with the theological virtues?” Bingo! This is the Christian distinction that Saint Thomas Aquinas clarifies. Aristotle’s framework was amazing in helping understand the great potential of “human” nature. But, with Jesus and the birth of Christianity, we learn that with the assistance of grace, one can go far beyond mere human virtue. We can become holy, saints, “divine” nature. And, that is what God is wanting for us.

Like I said before, our effort is a necessary part, but when that effort is combined with God’s part, that’s when real transformation begins to happen. And, I would argue that God’s part is way more than meeting us halfway. It’s more like I do my part, which to me at times may feel like climbing the steepest of mountains. But, then God floods behind my efforts with his grace and I realize later that he was doing all the heavy lifting the whole time. I was lifting a little 10-pound dumbbell and he was bench pressing 200 pounds!

On the path of discipleship, prayer and virtue are intimately connected. We need to be growing in both somewhat simultaneously. Are you growing as a disciple? The best way to measure that is twofold: First, are you growing in deeper and deeper intimacy in your relationship with God through prayer; and secondly, are you growing in greater and greater capacity for virtue? This is what God is inviting us to, and fortunately he provides all the grace we need to say yes to the invitation!