Safe Haven Sunday

A little more than 20 years ago, while I was a pastor in Wichita, a couple came to me because their marriage was falling apart.  

The problem was Internet pornography. This was the first time I had encountered the devastating effects of what was then an emerging plague.  

The ready access to pornography through the Internet was a new frontier. One didn’t have to seek out pornography anymore in seedy sex shops or slick “men’s magazines.” It now was available only a click away. And, that was before the advent of smart phones. Today, Internet pornography has become a pandemic.  

The effects of pornography are absolutely devastating: addiction and compulsive behavior, marriage and family break-ups, human trafficking, an increasingly distorted understanding of the meaning and dignity of human sexuality and the loss of respect for persons who become instrumentalized for the sake of sexual gratification. 

This is a pastoral challenge of the first order.  Every priest who hears confessions knows how great a challenge this has become.

In 2015, the U.S. bishops issued a document called “Create in Me a Clean Heart: A Pastoral Response to Pornography.” According to research cited in that document the average child is first exposed to pornography by age 11 and nearly all boys and more than half of young girls see pornography by the age of 18.  

Very often it is through accidental access by means of a pop-up ad or a typo during an Internet search. Digital technology has become a part of our lives. By age 5, half of all children go online daily. By age 13, three quarters of them have a mobile phone and 15-18 year olds spend an average of one hour each day consuming media on their phones.  

This new digital landscape is a deadly minefield for unaware children and ill-prepared parents and families.

With the encouragement of the Priests Council and pastoral staff of the archdiocese, we have been developing a pastoral strategy to address this problem. One of the first steps is to name it, to bring this dark secret into the light and talk about it. This is what we intend to do.  

At the recent 23^rd annual “In the Father’s Footsteps” Oklahoma Catholic men’s conference, the topic of pornography was addressed effectively by Jason Evert and other speakers. The Spring Clergy Days this past week dedicated the entire gathering to a pastoral exploration of the phenomenon of pornography and addiction guided by Father Sean Kilkawley, of the Diocese of Lincoln, who has become an expert in this challenging field. 

As a next step we will be partnering with Covenant Eyes to get the message out through “Safe Haven Sunday,” a name inspired by the bishops’ “Create a Clean Heart” document, which says, “the use of pornography by anyone in the home deprives the home of its role as a safe haven and has negative effects throughout a family’s life and across generations.”  

Covenant Eyes is a company that develops accountability and filtering services for Internet users and is a leader in the crusade to make the Internet a safer place for users and is committed to helping to implement the bishops’ pastoral document, “Create a Clean Heart.” 

On March 30-31, parishes of the archdiocese will have the opportunity to participate on a voluntary basis in Safe Haven Sunday. Clergy will be provided support, resources for prayer and guidance for addressing the issue of pornography so they can preach on this topic in an appropriate manner that weekend. 

Parishes also will provide the booklet “Equipped: Smart Catholic Parenting in a Sexualized Culture,” which has been prepared by Covenant Eyes as a tool to assist families going forward. It also will include access to a free 7-day e-mail crash course offering parents practical tips on how to make their homes into safe havens from pornography and places of healing in a sexualized culture.

Pornography is one of the great obstacles sabotaging our mission of evangelization and making disciples. God calls us to more. He offers us freedom.  

Please pray that those who suffer from the devastating effects of pornography will find renewed hope and freedom. Let us confidently take the next steps in creating safe havens from pornography in our homes and families.