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February 29, 2024Paul and Tracy Satterfield couldn’t be happier in their marriage. The high school sweethearts are faithful members of Holy Spirit Catholic Church in Overland Park, Kansas, and celebrating their 35th anniversary this year.
Their marriage, however, hasn’t always been filled with joy, and more than 10 years ago they were staring down the devastation of divorce.
“We were legally separated and a couple of months before the divorce date,” Paul Satterfield said.
They made a last-minute decision to try to save their marriage in October 2012, agreeing to participate in Retrouvaille, a program that helps married couples face their problems with the chance to save their relationships.
“My expectation was pretty low,” Paul said. “I was hoping to be civil to each other, not necessarily save a marriage.”
Save a marriage it did, in ways they couldn’t see beforehand.
“I went in expecting they would fix Paul, and in reality, it fixed me, and found a strength and confidence in me that I never knew existed,” Tracy said.
The experience also launched a shared mission.
The Satterfields now serve as deputy international coordinators with Retrouvaille International and will soon be bringing the program to Oklahoma City, with the assistance of Father Mark Mason of Saint Francis Xavier Catholic Church in Enid
“What Retrouvaille does is it helps those couples reconnect to that love that was there in the beginning,” Father Mason said. “It’s to return both to the love that God has given them, and to rediscover one another on those weekends.”
The program begins with a spiritual retreat, conducted by married couples who previously rediscovered love in their lives through the program. The couples participating will not experience marriage counseling, but rather will work together, one-on-one. Though the couples will be meeting together in groups, they will not share anything in those group sessions.
“They are going to learn how to communicate and understand more deeply, listening skills and rekindle that love they once had, through practical skills,” Paul said. “There is no group sharing, and we never have to share our struggles or problems with anyone else but our spouses.”
The lessons learned often come to light after the weekend event.
“Where the traction really takes place is in the follow-up sessions where they go deeper into the concepts introduced,” he said. “It is not realistic that what takes months, years to break apart a marriage can be pieced back together in a weekend.”
The follow-up sessions will be held later.
“There are 30 hours of counseling in the weekend. They’ll be given homework and also have the post sessions,” Paul said. “They’ll be held by specific members of the Retrouvaille community who have also been through the program themselves. They’ll be given a list of times, dates and places and what the topics will be.”
The priests also play an important spiritual role.
“The priest has an integral part in every one of the talks and relates his own life experience as it pertains to the topics and places the Gospel in light of the topics,” Father Mason said, adding that the priests also offer Mass and confessions.
Those married couples leading the sessions will share their own experiences, especially how it directly saved their marriages and how they learned to listen.
“This allows us to live a life of joy, which is what Jesus wanted for us, instead of, ‘it’s just OK,’” Tracy said. “We’re just better in everything in our life.”
Father Mason sees the Retrouvaille program as an important way to preserve marriages.
“As a priest, I find a Retrouvaille weekend as a miraculous weekend,” he said. “You can see a transformation take place in those marriages in most of the couples that take part on the weekend.”
For more information about the Retrouvaille weekend in Oklahoma City, March 15-17, call (405) 443-3541, e-mail [email protected] or visit helpourmarriage.org.
Everett Brazil, III is a freelance writer for the Sooner Catholic.
